dontforgettofeedlarry:

”shit did I just forgot to let out the dog?”

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”oh nvm I don’t have a dog”

”oh god I just farted”

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”never mind no one heard it”

”hey a hotdog bar”

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”oh nvm this my part”

”hey titties”

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”oh they’re fake”

”let’s pretend that I forgot something but in reality I’m just looking like a sexy motherfucker to the distance because I am that sexy motherfucker”

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”lolz I’m a life ruiner”